'Christmas Sun' A Christmas Day Journal by Charlene

“O Christmas Sun! What holy task is thine! To fold a world in the embrace of God!” ~ Guy Wetmore Carryl

12/25/09 (from Gold Beach, Oregon - personal retreat)

I found the above quote a few days ago while looking for Christmas quotes to include on my employer’s facebook page and to send to my friends on the internet. At first read, this quote notably speaks to me of Jesus and his task of teaching the world about the love of God. With all due respect to the author, it also speaks to me of Michael. This stands to reason, as he always tried to live his life as Jesus would. And his “task” while here was also to teach us about God’s love. I believe he succeeded, quite possibly more effectively than many people realize.

I love the use of the word Sun (light or Light of the World) as a metaphor for Son. Michael has been described by many as having a “light” or an “aura” about him which is felt by those in his presence. Kenny Ortega referred to Michael when he researched the meaning of “bioluminescence” after Michael had requested fireflies to be used in their forest setting for Earth Song in This Is It. Kenny gave this definition of bioluminescence: The ability of an organism to produce and emit light due to its chemical makeup. He said, “That’s Michael Jackson!” Michael often used light metaphorically in his performances and videos, as well as wind and water… all spiritual images.

Michael’s “holy task” was sharing with the world his messages of LOVE, Peace, Justice, Social Consciousness, and caring for our children, the animals and our earth - all this through his music, his dance, his speeches, and his example in the way he lived his life. These gifts were given him by God to fulfill his purpose for being here! To me, there is no other way to understand it or explain it. I believe we are all given gifts by God to be used in fulfilling our purpose in life. Michael’s purpose was much grander than most - to inspire the world!

There was never any doubt that Michael had a strong faith - he shared it with us so freely, always acknow-ledging his gift as being from God and his music being divinely inspired. Much of this part of Michael was overshadowed or down-played by the media (and, as a result, much of the public) in their never-ending quest to seek out and focus on any little bit of “dirt” they could find. Michael’s true spirit is at last being revealed in the wake of his death, and those who doubted his goodness are forced to face and admit the reality of his light! We have much to learn from him still, and need to pay attention to the messages, embracing his truth and spreading his LOVE in every way we can!

I shared the above quote with many of my friends in the days leading up to Christmas. It has been in my consciousness, its depth & meaning becoming more powerful & personal each time I read it or think of it. As I was driving here to the southern Oregon coast today for my personal Christmas retreat, I drove through fog the entire distance from my home in southern Oregon to the California border. (In order to get to the southern Oregon coast, you have to cross over into California for a short distance before turning north into Oregon.) As soon as I passed the border into California, the sun appeared amidst mostly clear blue skies. I was amazed at the timing of it and at the brightness of the sun! It wasn’t long before I realized the meaning of this - as I was entering California, Michael’s home state, he was welcoming me with the warmth of his light and love!! “Christmas Sun!!” This reality was so overwhelming at first, I had to pull over just to allow my emotions to flow and the power of it to soak into my heart and soul. I cannot express how much LOVE I was feeling from him in that moment!

You see, I have been feeling called to the ocean for weeks now. The last time I was near the ocean was about a week after Michael’s death, when I bought his “Number Ones” CD and began listening to his music again after many years without it. I drove through the majestic Redwoods and all along the Northern California coastline while listening to him sing to me those familiar tunes…..his passion and energy infusing itself into the deepest part of my soul! I had forgotten how powerful that energy was - it was beginning to work its magic on me once again, touching me and opening my heart after years of living in a self-imposed protective bubble.

It was the beginning of a remarkable journey of discovery for me. It was also the beginning of my extreme grief over his loss - to myself and to the world. There have been many more MJ CD‘s & videos and many “light bulb moments” along this 6 month journey, which have only served to bring me closer to Michael and to my true heart. Recognition of numerous “threads” connecting us throughout our lives, left undiscovered until now, has opened a whole new world of understanding for me. It’s as if every challenge in my life and every thread connecting me to Michael were part of a bigger plan to prepare me for this moment in time! This is the only way I can think of to describe it.

One of those threads has been my “pull” to the ocean. Being raised in the Midwest, I did not have the privilege of experiencing the magnificence & power of the ocean until moving to the west coast in 1986. The ocean has been a place of refuge and renewal for me ever since. I often come here to reflect, gain perspective, and renew my spirit when I’m facing difficult challenges in life, or when I just want to play… to feel the sense of abandonment that the ocean offers. The vastness of it reminding me of God’s huge love.

I have recently been drawn to some pictures of Michael which were taken on the California coast - Laguna Beach, I think. Seeing him lounging on a deck overlooking the ocean, reading a book, reflecting on who knows what(?)…..also seeing him on the beach embraced by the warmth of a cozy blanket while enjoying a beautiful sunset, or spreading his arms wide, expressing the power and majesty of God’s amazing creation…..all of this spoke to me of his soul. I’ve felt so close to him while relating to that soul, that feeling of wonderment and awareness of Divine presence. The beauty & gift of this earth! Michael’s spirit has called me to the ocean once again to touch his soul and experience the gift of Grace.

In addition to Michael’s death, there have been other huge losses in my life this year. My mother passed away in April and my daughter lost a baby boy in October (mid-pregnancy.) Each of these losses has carried with it a burden of deep pain & sorrow over the passing of beautiful souls. Michael’s life has been my inspiration throughout all of this. His music has touched me, supported me, loved me, and moved me! His goodness has penetrated my heart, his strength has given me strength, his passion has motivated me to find & express the light within myself. His death has been my awakening (and the world’s!) My sweet mother has let me know that she loves me & supports my connection to Michael - as if she knows him! …And I believe she does!!

Christmas Sun! Your LOVE is so divine!!!

Read Charlene's Poem 'O Christmas Sun' HERE

Thank You Charlene!

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MJ-UPBEAT